“You just need more confidence,” “the first step is believing in yourself”, “hold your head up high and you’ll go far”. How many times have you heard these types of phrases?
From the moment we enter into the world we’re told by our parents, teachers, friends and mentors that we can accomplish anything as long as we have confidence in ourselves. As we grow older, we start to become more aware of the things we can’t do and soon enough we believe that we truly cannot do anything worthwhile or be as successful as we desire. Stressing and walking on eggshells because we’re scared to death of what people are going to think of us and our shortcomings. We’ve all heard that nagging inner voice that produces statements like: “just stop trying,” “you can’t do that,” “there is no hope for you in this life.”
Being confident in your own skin is certainly easier said than done. But perhaps the confidence trait starts to develop with a little bit of indifference to how people and the world in general perceive us. That is the advice of Boston life coach and author David de las Morenas who runs his own confidence and body building website: How To Beast. With a title like that it’s not hard to understand Morenas’ message; he truly believes that we can all “be a beast” both physically and mentally. And why shouldn’t we be?
In his article “How To Stop Giving A F*ck (and Stop Seeking Approval)”, Morenas outlines three crucial steps to stop giving a f*ck and enhance our lives for the better:
- Understand Why It Doesn’t Matter: As human beings we are self conscious by nature and once we realize this indisputable fact, we can worry less about what people think of us. Everyone is too concerned with themselves to worry about what you’re doing, saying or wearing, so relax!
- Build A Lifestyle You Can Be Proud Of: There is a difference between participating in something for pure enjoyment and participating because you want other people’s approval. We should adopt habits and activities because we find happiness in them, not because we want to impress unimportant individuals.
- Catch Yourself In The Moment: Self awareness is crucial in being able to recognize and accept negative patterns. If we can catch ourselves seeking another person’s approval or stopping ourselves from doing something because we’re worried about what someone is going to say or think, then we can better overcome these roadblocks that prevent us from living the life we want to live.
Life is short but it can also be agonizingly long if we’re constantly spending our precious time trying to get the wrong people to like us. It is pointless and exhausting to tiptoe cautiously every day just so we can be liked and praised by every person we come in contact with. So why not follow David’s thoughtful advice and stop giving a flying f*ck. In the end, you are the only person you have to impress. Go and impress yourself.
