BY: LISA CUMMING

One year at summer camp a spider attacked my earlobe and it swelled up to the size of a rather large grape. The camp hadn’t had the funds necessary to hire a full-time nurse so I rifled around in the first aid bucket, applied some no name brand ointment, and called it a day. Everything at this place was considered a frivolity, we had a leaky canoe and even leakier tents. I was six when I first stepped foot on the campsite and I will always feel more at home there than anywhere else.

My introduction to camping came from a place where crumbling infrastructure was held together with the love of having a place that allowed everyone to just enjoy existing in nature. To me, camping is sleeping in a tent on a paper thin foam mat while rocks offer the closest thing you’re going to get to “lumbar support.” Camping is waking up with the smell of earth and the slightly unnerving feeling of dead ants up your sleeves. Camping is bathing in a lake and battling the leeches that want to call you “home.” It’s messy, it’s dirty, and it’s the most at peace I’ve ever been.

My introduction to camping came from a place that allowed everyone to just enjoy existing in the nature.

Photo by: sonnyphotos.typepad.com

Going camping is a high all by itself. You get addicted to nature, the scenery, and the sounds. Everything is so vibrant and full. Being outdoors makes you relinquish all your inhibitions and take up with the mantra, “don’t sweat the small stuff.” Oh, there was a beetle in my coffee? More protein for me. The closest thing I’ve had to human contact in weeks was the squirrel that snuck into my sleeping bag last night. It’s chill now, we’re friends. His name is Alf.

You get addicted to nature, the scenery, and the sounds. Everything is so vibrant and full.

Photo by: boredinvancouver.com

Photo by: sonnyphotos.typepad.com

I love camping because it feels unprocessed and unrefined. You set your own schedule and the days just seem to blend together.
This is why I have such a problem with the abomination that is “glamping”. Glamping takes every natural part of the camping environment, injects it with silicone, and gorges it on Happy Meals. It’s like the time my uncle bought a cottage and invited the family up to see it. Turns out the cottage was really just a house in a quaint little neighborhood on the outskirts of suburbia. It was a really nice house, don’t get me wrong. But I wasn’t about to go quartz diving in the hot tub.
Camping is a way for us to get back to our roots by communing with nature. Go to any major city centre, what do you see? Concrete, tar, smog, and garbage. I don’t know about you, but I have an extremely hard time waking up and seeing that day after day. I feel sick when I have to go to malls, people are spilling out of every crevice and the disconnect is maddening. Camping returns you to minimalism. To be completely predictable, you can hear yourself think.

Camping is a way for us to get back to our roots by communing with nature.

Photo by: gbtimes.com

Photo by: professionalwreckhead.com

Imagine standing at the corner of a major intersection and just screaming. I can tell you what would happen: everyone would do their very best to act like you don’t exist, but the looks of disdain would be antagonizing. Screaming on top of a mountain is the polar opposite. The echoes of your own voice bounce around and envelop you in a security blanket of sound waves.
Committing an act of glamping won’t reap the same benefits as going camping. Glamping is a byproduct of a capitalistic industry hell-bent on plasticizing the world. If camping was water, glamping would be Diet Coke: shiny, sugary, and fake.

Glamping is a byproduct of a capitalistic industry hell-bent on plasticizing the world.

Photo by:wildgoosefestival.org

Photo by: inhabitat.com

There are a plethora of ways to make camping a more gentle experience, without the added drawback of paying for it through the nose. Acquiring a couple of tarps can solve the issue of waking up in your own mini pool after a heavy rainfall. Switch out a foam mat for an air mattress if it means you’ll get a better night’s sleep. Actually zipping your tent up before going to sleep, no matter how pretty the moon looks, will hopefully prevent the dead ant situation.
Camping rallies against the polished and elegant. This is why I see no similarity between the two. Even the tents used in glamping excursions are nothing like the tents you would actually camp with. Try hiking with one of these packaged up and strapped to your back. I guess I’m just not glamorous enough to even contemplate trying that.
Glamping isn’t camping, going glamping is the same as visiting a resort. Except there aren’t any water slides, but rest assured I’m positive there’s a gift shop.
Do yourself a favour, before booking an all-inclusive glamping getaway, strap on a pair of runners and go walking through your nearest trail. Breathe in, breathe out. Don’t trade the natural elements for something synthetic and processed. Don’t trade the natural elements for anything. There are healing powers in nature and I guarantee that a weekend away from civilization will do more for you than any spa package.

Sources:  wildgoosefestival.org,  sonnyphotos.typepad.com,  boredinvancouver.com,  gbtimes.com,  professionalwreckhead.com,  wildgoosefestival.org,  inhabitat.com