We all have them, but we seldom escape them. Like the undeniable pull of a black hole, habits direct our life – all of our life. You might know this person; maybe they have drunk Coca-Cola every day since they were a toddler and now that they are 40 they say to themselves “I drink Coca-Cola because I like the taste, I choose to drink it.” Sadly the reality is we seldom exert true free will in our life. We choose very little, in fact it is debatable if we actually choose anything at all in the traditional sense of the word. Yet we think we do, and this lets our habits control our entire life.
Because we assume we are in control, we never think about how to align our life with our goals. This is a hard pill to swallow and if you truly believe that you have complete control over all of your actions, and that you are not puppeted by your habits, I have a question for you. What is one thing that if you did every day for an entire year, your life would – without a shadow of a doubt – be much better for? Now, why aren’t you doing that thing? The answer is that our habits, usually created in childhood, channel all of our attention down a predetermined path.
But there is hope, free will is something we can leave for the philosophers to bicker over, because what I know to be true is that you can change your habits. I used to be a bonified drug addict, but after a moment of pure awareness of my animal mortality and the realization that I only have a finite amount of time to live my life, I changed. This, in my experience, is the beginning of all habit change; awareness of the mystery of life and your place in it. It is in this awareness that we can see our actions in a new light and begin the process of change. But this is just the beginning, just as quickly as this awareness comes it leaves, and if we don’t do anything with it, it might as well not have come at all.
When awareness comes, and we know what it is we want to do with our finite existence, we must realize the fact that we are going to switch back to autopilot sometime soon. So, Instead of resisting this fact, it is time to put in place systems to channel our actions towards our goals. These systems could take the form of turning off your phone when you want to focus on work, or getting an alarm that shines light in your face to force you to wake up. The difficulty with developing systems is that they must be strong enough to direct the flow of habit. Your systems must be stronger than your habits.
The best way to do this is a method known as “getting leverage on yourself”. One way to do this is to write a cheque to an “accountability partner” for an amount that would be significantly painful to lose. And give it to them. You would text them every day saying you have completed your goal and if they do not get a text one day, they cash the cheque. I know it sounds extreme, but if I woke up at 50 and was still doing the same god blaming things I was doing when I was 15, I would be more than horrified. This is a tragedy that you can avoid by getting leverage on yourself though systems and “inevitability thinking.”
If this seems like a lot to take in just think. What would I have to do to make my goals inevitable? How would I design my life so that my goals will actualize naturally? Know that for the first 30 days to a year, you will still feel the pull of your old habit, but over time your new, positive habits will take the place of the old ones. Eventually, you will be addicted to your positive habits, and from there you will be that much closer to mastering the game of life.
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