When it comes to understanding women, most guys don’t even know where to begin. I know we are all Don Juans in our own minds, but when it comes down to it most of us just don’t have a clue. A few intrepid souls realized this in themselves and voilà the Pick Up Artist community was born.

I’m sure by now red lights are flashing in your head, as PUA is notorious for their cold techniques to manipulate women into bed. But before you judge, let me tell you how I evolved from aloof and awkward to a bona fide Don Juan and back again.

I went through a tough time in high school. I was awful at making connections with the girls at my school and it was painful. So painful that I would grab recorded copies of seminars that promised to help me snag the most beautiful women. I absorbed these seminars like a young child. I hung on every word, I took notes (so many notes), and somewhere in this gale of learning, something clicked. They were actually working.

What these seminars taught me went far beyond the classic PUA techniques. It was self development wrapped under the premise of “get more women.” One program that truly changed me was called “Man Transformation.” I will never forget the opening line of the program: “Your mind has you by the balls… and your balls have you by the mind.” This quote seared into my memory and foreshadowed the next four years of my life. The things that were discussed in that program formed the basis of my philosophy, which I still follow to this day.

What these seminars taught me went far beyond the classic PUA techniques. It was self development wrapped under the premise of “get more women.”

After I completed “Man Transformation,” I felt like a bona fide boss. I was rocking life. I did what I wanted, when I wanted. I unlocked an invisible super power that I always had right in front of my face, but could never see until now. But unfortunately this didn’t last. My first mistake was thinking that if I kept learning and studying more programs, I would get better and better with life in general. I would sit around all day watching seminars to try and get more control over my life, but they were actually moving me in a different direction.

As I continued learning, I started to go out less and stay in to read about PUA. Eventually my learning took other forms as well – including science and yoga.  PUA is largely responsible for my professional success.

In the end however, PUA actually hurt my success with women.

I would sit around all day watching seminars to try and get more control over my life, but they were actually moving me in a different direction. I started to go out less and stay in to read about PUA.

There comes a time in the learning process where you must take action on what it is that you are learning. If you sit on your ass like I did learning useless garbage such as ‘negging’ – a strategy that involves insulting a person in order to undermine their confidence and subsequently gain their approval – you will be creating a callus of knowledge that prevents you from really experiencing life.

I had to do a lot of digging to get out of the heap of garbage I built around myself and I still have a ways to go. Even now I sometimes analyze social situations with a critical eye, which prevents me from forming a real connection with people. Whether I needed those seminars to get my butt moving in terms of self-development or they just junked up my mind, I don’t know. It might be a bit of both.

Image sourcing: drprem.com,  huffpost.com,  thisismoney.co.uk