BY: ALEXANDRIA LEE
Forget buying expensive chocolate and ugly teddy bears or writing cheesy love poems only a mother could love. This Valentine’s Day, show your sweetie how much you adore them by likening them to a cockroach.
For $10, the Bronx Zoo will let you name a Madagascar hissing cockroach after a loved one (or after yourself, if you’re into that). According to the zoo’s website, the sad reality is that “tens of thousands of roaches remain nameless.” By purchasing this undoubtedly romantic gift, not only will you brighten up your partner’s soul, but you will also save a cockroach from an undignified existence without a name and purpose in the world.
For $10, the Bronx Zoo will let you name a Madagascar hissing cockroach after a loved one (or after yourself, if you’re into that).
Madagascar hissing cockroaches are one of the largest cockroach species and grow up to three inches in length. That’s more than you could ever provide for your partner. They’re shiny, brown, wingless and round. That’s one characteristic away from a diamond.
The $10 sends a digital certificate to your lucky recipient explaining they have a cockroach in his or her namesake. For $25, the Bronx Zoo sends a printed gift certificate and chocolates right to your lover’s doorstep.
If you’re feeling particularly salty, name the bug after an ex. The Madagascar hissing cockroach is an excellent climber, similar to how your old flame hopped onto other people during your relationship. They’re also kind of ugly, make a lot of noise and live amongst the rotting parts of society.
If you’re feeling particularly salty, name the bug after an ex.
Whomever you choose to name a cockroach after, it’s a win-win for everyone. The gift is beneficial to animals big and small, as the purchase works to support and protect the rest of the zoo’s species. Funds raised will be donated to the Wildlife Conservation Society. So what are you waiting for? Buy me a cockroach.